TIGER - CHAPTER I - LOVE - RAFAEL LUDICANTI

TIGER - CHAPTER I - LOVE - RAFAEL LUDICANTI

 

1.

 

Our time wil come

both yours and mine.

 

Luck also gets tired.

Changes its taste.

Leaves without remorse.

 

I don't know if

I knew luck beyond

what it could

have been. 

 

2.

 

The tenderness

I know is an extreme

form

of violence.

The decay of affection

into something

distant from feelings

leads me into a deep

absense of

sensibility.

 

3.

 

I'm completely lost.

I don't even want

to concentrate

in success.

I stayed 10 minutes

to remember what

I was trying to accomplish

with this pen in

my hand.

I don't believe

in my own

dreams.

 

4.

 

She looked

at me

for the last

time

stripping me from

my self-respect

as if

a lion were to lose

its majesty

by becaming

extinct.

 

5.

 

I couldn't believe

in anything

and now that I do,

it is

no longer

true.

 

6.

 

Unhappiness

can

shout alongside

the obvious

without being heard.

 

My organism

devours

its cells

without

love.

 

Life is a relentless mystery.

 

7.

 

Vodkas and tears

on the way home

to honor

the memory of

been outside

my cage

now

that 

hope is no longer

an option.

 

8.

 

I don't want

it anymore,

I will

leave you.

I'll follow

your indifference

on my way to oblivion.

 

In the solemnity of

so much

consternation

my healing

will have to deal

with

dispair.

 

9.

 

Thoughts are

lapses of wisdom.

There is still

the expectation

that an apple

could forgive

ours sins.

 

10.

 

Consciousness

leads me to

blank pages.

 

When I declare

myself null

I fully

conceive

myself.

 

I am a hypothesis

stimulated

by doubt.

The opposite of

what is under

the influence

of chimeras

on our minds

is perhaps the truth.

 

11.

 

From the permanence

of lucidity

I transformed

myself into a

novelistic

self-fiction character.

 

12.

 

The unconscious

escapes in

involuntary traits

such as lying to oneself

without

intensifying the

disturbed

personality.

They turned me

into a monster

even though

I was always so ridiculous.

 

13.

 

I,

hostile,

skittish,

haughty,

wild,

hybrid.

Thought spoils good ideas.

 

14.

 

Laziness exonerates

me from life.

Every day

I pray for a slow

death that will

lead me to immortality.

But from the day

I was born

I've been driven to

squander the best opportunities.

 

15.

 

Where did you err

in this icy high voltage

summer.

Everyone noticed

when I fell.

But I don't blame anybody.

When no one reaches

out to you,

it's your fault.

 

16.

 

Does being whole

include or exclude

what I am

and don't perceive?

To be fulfilled is

to be happy

or to be whole?

Is being happy

being happy all the time?

 

17.

 

If I exaggerate

for not having

understood everything

I am like that for being lazy.

I don't want to lead

others to think

that I wasn't

the same

because I was afraid.

 

18.

 

I beyond my imagination.

Or short of it.

I am whole in what

I lack

scattered in the hope

of being

someone else.

Is it true that we

are what we are?

The abstract holds things back.

 

19.

 

I, even in

silence

am a worthless

individual.

What about you?

  

20.

 

That's not what I mean at all.

I must be lying.

Not knowing if

I told the truth,

my behavior twists

in the attic of my mind.

 

21.

 

Responsibility does

not see the

world as

I see it.

I'm full of blind spots.

I dare not move

beyond my

limits.

 

22.

 

The landscape howls

to the bottom

of my heart.

The bone marrow

melts the ice

in the shallow grave.

  

23.

 

Birds are not alive.

Before the wind

they manifest

their benevolence.

Creatures

of revelation

I find myself

in an extinct forest

untying labyrinths.